So what if your studying and currently a H.I guy. you dont need to boast around about this and start telling people off. just get away from my sight before i really turn my back against you. and dont you ruin my first day of the week. if ur a man, then behave like one. tay's sick. get well soon. dont faint before ur birthday in two days time okay. i know ur my blog fanatic haha.

Sunday

2009-08-02T01:45:00.000-07:00

Training yesterday was okay but i heard my name from coach countless times, damn, super embarrassed.Made me feel so guilty. Skipped training today. Was super tired ttm. Havent touched any tutorials yet. oh man. Got to rush tutotials once again. Exams coming and i got to study because i know nothing, ive been sleeping all the while. Just slap me awake.For once. bye.

Thursday

2009-07-30T03:11:00.000-07:00

been long since ive blog. either im busy or im lazy. fuck blogger and my laptop. i blogged twice and first was blogger followed by laptop's auto restart damn. todays ruined my mood. 12 years, ive ruined. im not into this. im not for this. i know there's not another a chance that awaits me. regret is too late. guilty is written all over my face. damn is the word. call me a loser then. failure again. over and over again. im tired. i know i didnt put in my very best, not even my best. i didnt push myself. blame everything on me. i can take this. this big regret word that follows me throughout my lifetime. I think im going to. how am i going to face up to myself. 12 years of hardwork down to that filthy drain. fuck. i do give a damn. how am i going to face up to my parents and tell them straight into their faces," ive wasted ur money for the 12 years back then, ive ruined today, im going to fail this for the second time, im not into this." im sorry.im guilty. i do. i am. this phrase "im going to pass no matter what" was used in the morning,but now forget this, just strike this off. failure. i am. and now i know. understands why practise makes perfect. for this, ive got nothing to say. you people dont know how disappointed i am. and i know my parents will too. im sorry. i really do feel this way. because from the start, ive already said this over and over again. i am not into this. im not for this. spare me all the troubles after today. i will only bring regret around. and nothing else. spare me the agonies.dont say im fortunate. because im not, because im being forced. the final grade, the last stage was the only way out. and now. i've completely ruined it. ive ruined it. for good. for bad. i dont care. i do give a damn for the past days. but now. nothings coming in my way. and im a complete loser. just call me a loser then.and how great. 12 years down to waste. how great. im sorry. im guilty. i really am. who cares.i do. i am.

Saturday

2009-07-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

Been long since the last post. Okay last wed my current classmates planned birthday smashes on me. Damn. I tell you, i didn't know. Prolly, I was just too engross in finishing ect drawings. Thats when class ends, they helped me pack up my bag rushing me off, i was puzzled. When i was stepping out of the class, damn, a cake appeared right infront of me. After the wishes, i swear i was wiping off the cold sweat, smashing was up next. putting the tiniest candle in the middle of the cake, and push it right through, and asked me to pick that paricular candle with my mouth. I swear i know smashing was going to be great for them and bad for me. I was hesitating, and they push my face, cream smeared. That day, i smell of cappucino, because thats the cake. I wash upteen times, the smell remained and damn, i couldnt take it and i hope i wont get insomnia, i sprayed fragance and slept. Smashing's bad. Ha.

Anyway, past two days of sleep was terrible ttm. I only slept 3+ hours a day. I dozed off in classes, i dont care. I swear i was super tired ttm. Spam webcam in class. Slack. Smuggle lw to class. Thats fun. Ha. Pictures to be uploaded. And. I caught ice age 3 with sec school peeps, okay movies. Ha.

Sunday

2009-07-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

Trying to spend my big day alone, thats tough man ha. I'm not trying to hint anything or what anyway. Thanks peeps for celebrating, the gifts and those wishes. Me appreciate. And yeap cindy ng won the 12.00am hit and not forgetting tanliwen won the 11.58pm hit, trying to be the last to wish me that very day. Surprises were everywhere, i mean for this year. Some whom i thought, had already forgotten. Yeap. Yesterday, went down to warehouse sale AGAIN, for two reasons, one was to help cindy look for bags, and the other to visit liwen because i think she's bored ttm, no life woman! Then went for a movie with karmen, ate with lw and cindy, and back home. Denise Tay bought me a packet of premium sweets but i think i threw it away few minutes ago. Ants invaded, im so guilty now. She opened the sweets on mrt and spilled half of them, and now, i can count the number of sweets with my fingers.

Tests up in the list next okays. I failed 1 and currently awaiting for another failure for autocad. Damn. I passed the other 3 remainings, with just a borderline pass. 50,55,66. Law was the highest i think i've got among the tests. haha super shag man. I was thinking if my class was meant to be an ellit class or what, all around me were distinctions man, 70+,80+,90+. Damn. Im going to be the very last one i think.

Today's life is stuck at home. I'm going to finish up. my work and i think im lazy to do autocad coursework. Left with loads. Ha. I think im a slacker, no. I am.

Saturday

2009-06-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

I spent the whole night chasing after a dragonfly yesterday! so much so that i couldn't sleep a wink. practically. people don't laugh, i chase that damn dragonfly for a bloody wholesome of up to 2 hours. i think im going to suffer from insomnia, it will be a sooner or later case, i swear. whats got to do with the swearing and stuffs?! people. just believe me. haha i know uhmm its kind of hard. heh. dragonfly, i finally captured, i threw it in the bin, and went to bed, i felt like im in heaven for the first time. ha crap. too ridiculous to even believe this part, just believe the first part of the post. yeap. I'm turning in at this late hour of 2.15am haha.

2009-06-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
MUHAHAHHAHAHA.
:X
LOL
eh. im here to help kaden blog.
KADEN
LOLLLLLL :X
hello kaden.
later u see this post.. and your first thought wld be >> theres a mad dog barking ><
hahahaha. wah lao :x.
I WONDER WHEN I GOING SEE U AGAIN LEHHHHHHHHH :X
hehehehehe .
ok i go chiong project. MUHAHAA
REST WELL. HAHAHA'
siao. zi high.
kaden gng out tomorrow to enjoy life :X

Friday

2009-06-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hehe. 12.31am now and im not sleeping. okay its no big deal. ytd went down to town with audrey and her gf and after that caught a jap movie. its so not touching. i swear the cinema's temperature is most likely to be ard the same range as the artic. The air conditioning could hit up to negative temp. and me, was freaking cold inside and still shivering. i really swear i experienced being a frozen human at that point of time. damn. you know it took me damn long to feel like i've already defroze. even when i reached home. haha thats when i fall sick. and fish man i was dead beat. im going to run out to enjoy life tomorrow although i dont get to go down to support them. cancelled everything today. rot at home super bored ttm. eat sleep wake up eat slp pc. denise tay came to visit me today but i think she came to sleep haha. if i ever contracted h1n1, i will save everyone in spto have a 1 week vacation break. ha kind of crap. im just not up to it alright. turn in time ha.

waiting is really terrible, i'm really tired.
whats the point when i've tried my very best and you, not giving, a little effort or support.
but.
i've to be blame for everything, because its just me insisting, to put up a front. and, to be brave once again.

Sunday

2009-06-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yeap. Ytd was kind of shag after training. Havent been sleeping well this week. Busy to the max. Ton over was fun the day before ytd but denise is always busy talking, so i don't really care about her presence, haha. Damn. Ha. Ytd was totally a sleepless night I guess. Totally shag in the morning today and water raft race was held today. Well done girls. Tmrw gg to sit on the flyer haha. Long day. I'm sleepy. Off to bed.

Friday

Lets live our life full till our time is up. Oh I doubt anyone could do it actually. Have been slacking for months and failing tests and obviously did not revise any of them. Escaping from reality and cheating myself. Sucn irresponsible person with no integrity at all. Did A Math retest and the marks that surfaced was just a borderline pass 12/20. 2 marks of improvement? Such crap marks. Struggling to survive every A Math test but everything seems to turn out the opposite way. And great tmr's A Math test is going to be conducted and me feeling puzzled and confused over the easy or the easiest formula. Memorise? I will try. I would want to surpass the test tmr. But who knows probably it will turn out to be a disaster again with disappointing red critical marks. And hoping that even a minor pass would spread a smile on one's face. With this kind of thinking mindset, I doubt that I will win the war tmr. Confidence? I can't help to reach for that. Grapping for that and not clinging lifeless to it will do. Okay got to mug.
Take care and bye.

The going gets tough , the tough gets going. or is it the other way round haha?

Monday

2008-07-07T00:05:00.002-07:00

Thks for the birthday wishes and presents people. So I've turned 16 and ya I'm mature enough to bully people who are younger than me. Haha. Sometime didn't blog due to my laziness alright. Tmr having A Maths test and haven't study zz. Prelim is in a few weeks time and I haven't even go into revision got to buck up. Though sometimes motivation was there and still exists , my laziness brought down the mood to study yarh. Remedials going on every week and I guess everyone is tired about that and complaining about being exhausted everyday. I flung my Chinese oral and yarh thks to my stammering and I walked out of the hall within 2 minutes of conversation, surprise? Maintaining that A1 is difficult to achieve. Alright gtg for tutions and thinking whether to carry the new bag gf bought for me ytd larh. Take care and bye.

How are we going to survive this ordeal?

Monday

2008-07-07T00:05:00.001-07:00

2008-03-22T06:14:00.000-07:00

Went for training in the morning, had tution and all other stuffs. Ok I can fall aslp anytime larh.Damn tired due to waking up early in the morning. I feel like playing mahjong but they can't so perhaps next time. Hm.. Take care and bye.

Ok I feel bad.

Thursday

2008-03-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

Oh okay being rather bored and that is when I start to blog. I thought things weren't suppose to go in this way but couldn't help it. Let everything go off and crashed. Made a fool out of myself during chem yeah, those blue and red litmus papers rly made me go...... Took Denise's wallet and she was slow enough to know that her wallet was missing after dismissal and yeah she caught up behind when gg to cafeteria and saw me swing around with her paul frank wallet, how careless was I. So in order to get back her wallet, she pleaded me to give her a task but in the end cuz of the public and the embarrassment she had to face, she didn't accomplish it. Haha yeah. Ok things changes pretty fast and yeah some things were to be said and some not cuz of private life yarh. Ppl's pretence can be rather obvious but ytd's conver was not alright. Being reckless at times can lead to the uprooted main problem. Life going on well? What can I say? Okay whatever. Just yeah see the saddest part of life. Just sit and look.

When everything is gone by then,
grabbing those tiny opportunities won't do that well,
looking at the friends around you,
in disguise as well.