DOUBLE KADEN
music
Thursday, July 30, 2009
been long since ive blog. either im busy or im lazy. fuck blogger and my laptop. i blogged twice and first was blogger followed by laptop's auto restart damn. todays ruined my mood. 12 years, ive ruined. im not into this. im not for this. i know there's not another a chance that awaits me. regret is too late. guilty is written all over my face. damn is the word. call me a loser then. failure again. over and over again. im tired. i know i didnt put in my very best, not even my best. i didnt push myself. blame everything on me. i can take this. this big regret word that follows me throughout my lifetime. I think im going to. how am i going to face up to myself. 12 years of hardwork down to that filthy drain. fuck. i do give a damn. how am i going to face up to my parents and tell them straight into their faces," ive wasted ur money for the 12 years back then, ive ruined today, im going to fail this for the second time, im not into this." im sorry.im guilty. i do. i am. this phrase "im going to pass no matter what" was used in the morning,but now forget this, just strike this off. failure. i am. and now i know. understands why practise makes perfect. for this, ive got nothing to say. you people dont know how disappointed i am. and i know my parents will too. im sorry. i really do feel this way. because from the start, ive already said this over and over again. i am not into this. im not for this. spare me all the troubles after today. i will only bring regret around. and nothing else. spare me the agonies.dont say im fortunate. because im not, because im being forced. the final grade, the last stage was the only way out. and now. i've completely ruined it. ive ruined it. for good. for bad. i dont care. i do give a damn for the past days. but now. nothings coming in my way. and im a complete loser. just call me a loser then.and how great. 12 years down to waste. how great. im sorry. im guilty. i really am. who cares.i do. i am.